Archive for December, 2009

One year

Friday, December 11th, 2009

Hello family and friends,

As I sit and look at our new two month old son, I can’t help but see a spark of our Princess Isabelle. It’s been one year and there are still so many reminders of what happened to us not long ago…

You know the story and you know how it ended. What you should know is that we could not have survived with our sanity if it wasn’t for the support of all of you. As the day went by today I remembered every single thing that you did for us:

Caring for Elorah on the weekends, visiting us at the hospital, eating dinnner with one of us, bringing Isabelle balloons, flowers, books and gifts, the wonderful posts on our guest book, helping us sell bracelets to raise money for the transplant, the kind words exchanged, the thought and care into those words, running a silent auction and helping us raise money, volunteering your skills to help us join COTA, giving us extra time off, allowing us to focus on Isabelle’s care, the cards, helping us make through each day, coming to see us in St Louis, listening to our updates each day over the phone, sending us txt messages, sharing our story with friends and family, donating money to our transplant fund, helping us get in the newspaper and on TV, telling your church to add us to the prayer chain, the hugs, being there for us in the end, helping us setup all the decorations at the funeral, fighting the cold and snow to see Isabelle one last time, the tears, the understanding…

You’ve all done so much for us and you keep doing so much. We’ve forged so many close relationships through our experiences. We’ve met new families who have had their own tragedies. We’ve learned to pick up and carry on. We’ve learned how to mourn and we’ve learned how to celebrate Isabelle’s life.

I woke up a few times in the night remembering each hour that led up to Dec 11th. I remembered the calls that Tangela made to me with updates “her blood pressure has been unstable all night”. I remember thinking “we’ll get through this, it’s just another bump in the road”. I remember that morning, I had no idea what was to come. It’s like you’re a warrior and you’ve done battle every day for 108 days straight and you get up, put on your armor and shield and you go to work. Why was this day any different? I think Isabelle’s spirit knew. It was the first night in a long time that Amanda and I were not in the room with Isabelle. We had our guardian Angel watching over our precious, sweet Isabelle. Numb may be a word I’d choose. We were somewhat numb from being in the ICU so long. Well, the numbness would turn to shock and disbelief very quickly. As I walked to the hospital, I got a call “you need to come here quickly”. So I ran. When I got there, the Dr’s were doing compressions. It’s as if Isabelle’s spirit was saying “I don’t want Mommy and Daddy to go through this anymore”. By the time we got there they had just barely stablized her pulse, but it was too late. Still we held on and we clung to the belief that Isabelle could pull through this. It would have to be a true miracle for sure. As the hours went by the Dr’s told us that she was not going to recover. It was too late. I struggle to find reason about all this, but these things I know as fact:

1. If I didn’t have faith; I wouldn’t have my sanity.

2. Isabelle possessed strength and wisdom beyond her years.

3. We couldn’t have done so well if we didn’t have the support from you.

4. Elorah & Ben have helped us more than I can explain.

5. Isabelle is in Heaven and yet her Spirit visits us often.

Someday I hope to explain to you how I know all these things, but for now you just have to trust me. That day we said goodbye to our Warrior Princess, our little Tiger, but it’s only a short departure. I know she’s being well taken care of by family and friends. Gracie, Connor, Scott, Jason K, Uncle Jim, Thadd, Grandma’s and Grandpa’s just to name a few. I am positive that they are all having a great time together and that Isabelle is making them laugh like she made us laugh.

For now, we will carry on with her Memorial and we’re making new plans for 2010. We’ll be working with Gift of Life of Kansas City to help raise awareness about the importance of organ donation. We’ll be making changes to the website, selling things to raise money and giving hope to others.

At 8:03 pm tonight, please stop what you are doing, hug someone you love and think about our sweet little Princess Isabelle. Remember her as your friend, your ballerina, your Princess, your darling, your inspiration, your source for humor, your artist and your hope. She’s definitely thinking about you.

Thank you so much for all the love and support.

Thanks to Pastor Michael at the Eudora Methodist Church for his guidance.

Thanks to our mother’s and father’s and our family for helping us bear this pain.

Thanks to our friends for carrying us through this.

Thank you Tangela, we love you.

We love you all,

Chris, Amanda, ^Isabelle^, Elorah and Benjamin.